As a mom-to-be, I'm riddled with questions and worries. But beyond the "will I be a good mother" and "am I eating well for the baby" concerns, I find myself trying desperately to hold onto my pre-pregnancy self. I am a fun and wine-loving foodie, traveler and runner. Statement. And I would like to stay that way during pregnancy and after I become a mother. Statement.
I suppose a part of me is afraid I will lose the essence of myself and become "all about the kid". You see, while I know my life will drastically change in a few months -- which I completely welcome and I'm excited for -- I (very idealistically) also want to keep some semblance of my former life. During pregnancy, that includes still getting my regular sashimi fix, sipping the occasional glass of wine, keeping my fitness level and strutting in my high heels.
I can already see all the flank I am going to get for writing this. But I am frustrated and need to vent. Here are some of the riveting topics I'm grappling with.
1. Don't judge me for ordering chiraishi
One of things that annoy me about pregnancy is the amount of conflicting advice and judgement about the behavior of mothers and mothers-to-be. When I posted a "satisfied my sashimi craving" post on facebook, I was slagged. The comments I received ranged from horrified concern - "do you know that you aren't supposed to eat that?!", to plain noneofyourbusiness "xxx disease in babies is linked to eating raw fish". What I don't get is why people feel entitled to judge, and some even insinuate I am irresponsible towards the baby because of what I eat. They make me feel like washing down the sashimi with a chilled glass of wine in their faces. If they'd only do their homework, they'd see that in moderation and carefully prepared (hence only once a month from reputable restaurants), raw fish is an excellent source of protein and fish nutrients for the baby. Even the occasional (half) glass of wine has never been proven to harm the baby. Don't even get me started on the comments to my photographs taken in Margaret River holding glasses of wine (most of which I spit after tasting!).
2. Don't put me on bed rest
Pregnant women are not made of glass. I love my unborn child, and I will never do anything to harm it. Before I continued with running and other exercises, I did my due diligence. I know that as long as I listen carefully to my body and do not over-exert myself, I am fine to carry on a lighter version of my pre-pregnancy fitness routine. So stop giving me dirty looks when I put on my running shoes. Keeping up my fitness both keeps me sane and will, closer to my due date, help with my delivery. When I get too big I will naturally change to a lower impact form of exercise. For goodness' sake, stop nagging at me.
3. Yes, I still wear high heels (sometimes).
I cannot believe I was shoe-shamed the other day! Do people honestly think that pregnant women can only wear plain ugly flat shoes, or will we topple over or suffer from the thin atmosphere up there? I honestly don't wear heels everyday -- I am usually in my reliable birkies. But when the mood hits, I like to sweep the dust off my pretty shoeboxes and throw on a pair of stilettos. That doesn't mean I am vain and endangering my child.
People need to see that pregnancy is a very personal matter and choices we make are our own. I don't judge you for still not kicking your nicotine habit when your wife is pregnant, and one can also argue that all the ultrasounds you go for may harm your baby. End of the day, I believe we are all educated enough to know what the myths are, and to discern our individual types and levels of risk tolerance. One lesson I've learnt is to really keep my "mouth shut" on social media i.e. to keep my chiraishi pics to myself.
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On a brighter note, I am getting bigger! Check out my bump below. It was taken last week when I realized I "popped". I still look a bit pudgy but one can almost guess I am pregnant.
B was away this weekend so I took the time to pack my skinny clothes away and make space for my maternity wardrobe. Fully intend to still wear my non-maternity clothes where possible but I did make some basic maternity purchases to see me through the next 5 months plus. Yes, I don't intend to look frumpy just because I'm preggers!
It's certainly safe to say, I'm in love with a child, a tiny piece of Heaven, that I have yet to meet.
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